


The One With Aunt May's Couch

by Larilyn



Series: Darcy Has a Mission! And other Nonsense. [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Awesome Michelle Jones, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larilyn/pseuds/Larilyn
Summary: It's moving day for Peter. Sam tries to be a stinker, but the joke is on him.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: Darcy Has a Mission! And other Nonsense. [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926583
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44
Collections: Sam Wilson Bingo 2020





	The One With Aunt May's Couch

**Author's Note:**

> Fills Sam Wilson Bingo square: I1 "On Your Left"

“On your left, pretty lady.”

MJ scooted to the right to let Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes pass. They were carrying Aunt May’s couch into the Avengers compound.

She couldn’t quite believe she was at the Avengers compound.

She. Was. At. The. Avengers. Compound.

Okay, the circumstances sucked. Peter had been outed as Spider-Man. And he was moving here for his protection. And his life had pretty much been turned upside down and…

Wow. Sam Wilson was _attractive_ …

She peeked surreptitiously at his backside and then his shoulders and then…

“Stop that,” Peter scolded, shifting the box he was carrying.

“Stop what, exactly?” She asked coolly. Because MJ was nothing if not cool.

“You’re checking him out.”

“I am doing no such thing,” she replied.

She was. She was totally checking him out. I mean…who could blame her?

They stepped inside to see that their path on the stairs was blocked by Barnes and Sam and Aunt May’s obnoxiously huge couch.

“Pivot,” Sam teased. He looked over at MJ and gave her a little wink.

“Why do you keep saying that?” Barnes snarled.

“Piv-aht.”

“Stop that, Wilson!”

MJ snorted out a little laugh and then froze in fear when Barnes turned his eyes blue eyes to her. Then he softened and winked at her too.

Sam gave one more, “PIV. AUGHT!”

“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UUUUUP!” Barnes responded in a perfect imitation of Chandler Bing.

Peter descended into giggles and MJ bit her lip to keep from doing the same.

“Wait,” Sam sputtered, “How did you…?”

“I helped Darcy move her new couch in. You don’t think she did the same thing?” Barnes turned to MJ and Peter and added, “Then she made me watch the episode. And then a Thanksgiving episode. Then a Thanksgiving episode from another show where they threw turkeys out of a helicopter. It was disturbing.”

“Well,” Sam threw his hands up, “no point in us doing this now. Wanda can just float it up. Let’s take it back down.”

Peter was amused. “You wanted to carry my couch upstairs just so you could re-enact a scene from a sitcom that hasn’t been on the air in like…fifteen years?”

“Shuddup, small child-type person,” Sam glowered. Then he took a step back and pulled on the couch. “Shit.”

Bucky pushed, “It’s… stuck.”

“Guys, come on,” Peter scoffed, thinking he too was being punked.

“Seriously,” Sam said, pulling again. “It’s stuck.”

MJ rolled her eyes, “You people are supposed to be superheroes.”

“You think you can unstick it, Missy?” Sam crossed his arms over his chest. MJ’s hormones did NOT take note of the way that accentuated his arms. Nope.

She put down her box and surveyed the stairwell and the couch before she commanded, “Mr. Barnes, tilt the couch up as high as you can. Stop. Right there.”

Bossing around super-heroes was kind of fun…

“Now, Mr. Wilson pick up your end but keep it low. Now PIVOT.”

“Whoa,” Sam breathed out as they moved the couch forward and around the corner.

“Now keep it flat until the next corner. Can you gentlemen handle that?”

Barnes laughed at Sam’s disbelieving expression.

“How did…?”

MJ responded, “The angle of the vertical tilt equals the width of the stairwell plus the width of the couch plus the length of the couch.”

Two disbelieving super-heroes looked at her with awe.

Peter smirked, “My girlfriend is smarter than your girlfriends… oh…wait….you losers don’t have girlfriends.”

“Your _girlfriend_ is sick of standing here with this box while these two idiots are taking up the whole stairwell.”

MJ started up the stairs, and sassily told Sam Wilson, “On your left Dumb-But-Pretty,” scrambled over the couch, with the box in her hands, elbowed her way past Barnes and proceeded up to Peter and May’s new apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Stole the equation from this article: https://www.housebeautiful.com/uk/lifestyle/a22722243/ross-friends-pivot-couch-mathematical-solution/
> 
> You can decide for yourself which Friends Thanksgiving episode Darcy made Bucky watch. (I vote for the one where Rachel makes a trifle). The other show was the WKRP in Cincinnati's Turkeys Away
> 
> And of course, in this little fic universe, Sam and Bucky DO have girlfriends. But it's not common knowledge outside the Compound and Pete was just moving in.


End file.
